What is a Secondary Emotion?
When we consider an emotion like sadness, it is often associated with evaluations of the past. Other emotions, such as fear, instead involve anticipations of the future. Both are vulnerable states, and we cannot control anything in either the past or future – only the present.
–Anger can often be thought of as a (1) protective and (2) present-oriented emotion.
When conceptualized as a secondary emotion, anger can often be thought of as a (1) protective and (2) present-oriented emotion. This is why anger is normally an active emotion, which is sometimes what you need as a First Responder while confronting threats. For example, we might experience anger because it is protecting us from a sense of shock or appraisal of a threat.
Reactions and Responses
If we recognize that anger is a protective reaction, we must also identify what the appropriate response is as well. If anger helps blunt the potentially paralyzing qualities of feeling helpless or utterly terrified, it can mobilize critical thinking and motivate action as part of a protective response. However, as a default, the disproportionate intensity of anger can quickly become more problematic than protective.
–The disproportionate intensity of anger can quickly become more problematic than protective.
Consider again sadness or fear as primary emotions that trigger anger. Remember, neither are accessible because sadness is past-oriented while fear is future-oriented. These are out of our control. Anger is protective because it helps get control (or a perception of it) in the present. When experiencing intense grief or violations of our beliefs and values, for example, we may feel a need to express this helpless frustration in an implosive or explosive way.
Collateral Damage
Remember, sadness and fear are often associated with a lack of control. If you feel you are without control, this can elevate levels of stress in many situations. Ironically, anger might help give you the impression you are actively solving your problems but are actually worsening them. For example, although anger might help to oppose and repel threats, it can also cause separation from meaningful, protective relationships. That underlying fear or frustration may pain for connection but asks for it with anger, which only creates distance.
Find What is Fueling the Fire
It is not helpful to conceptualize anger as an unhelpful, purely destructive emotion. The intense and sometimes violent situations you find yourself in as a First Responder sometimes require the protective, present-focused qualities of anger. However, if life seems to always feel like a frustrating mess and anger becomes a default to get control of every situation, you are likely only losing control or grasping at an illusion of it.
–We must identify and begin addressing the primary emotions fueling this anger.
To confront this secondary emotion, we must identify and begin addressing the primary emotions fueling this anger. We often externalize our anger onto others, but we need to begin looking internally if we want to begin regulating our mood and controlling our responses to anger. If you lose your temper on your crew, squad, fire team, or on a family member or friend, take a literal and figurative step back. Take a deep breath and increase your situated awareness by improving your attentiveness to what is going on below the surface. Ask yourself, what are the threats I feel I need to protect myself from?
If you are a First Responder or Veteran and want to learn more about how anger can affect you and your loved ones, book a Free 15-min Discovery Call with Richard Piekarckz-Vacca.
