Protective or Problematic?
Selectively suppressing certain emotions is essential in your duty as a First Responder. For example, numbing feelings of fear, grief, and despair while simultaneously experiencing high levels of situational awareness while performing your duty are essential to your vital service. Although a protective reaction in the immediate situation, when this becomes a consistent method of navigating the experiences of life outside of these contexts, it is likely to be harmful not only to yourself but among meaningful relationships.
–Emotional numbing involves not only a disconnect from experiences or the expectation of intense emotional reactions
The ability to protect yourself from feeling intense levels of physical pain or emotional duress is not exclusive to trauma. From experiencing chronic pain to grief that feels too intense or suffering from moral injuries, there are many reasons someone may become emotionally numb and distant. Characteristics of emotional numbing may include (1) distancing (i.e., from people, places, situations), (2) denial (i.e., refusal to accept certain feelings, thoughts, events), and (3) detachment (i.e., withdrawal, difficulty connecting with others).
Psychosocial Connection
Emotional numbing involves not only a disconnect from experiences or the expectation of intense emotional reactions (internal) in a given situation (external), but also very often a certain disconnect from others, either intentionally or unintentionally. Diminished emotional experiences may help to prevent intense reactions from overwhelming the ability to cope. However, it may also cause social disconnect because being physically present yet emotionally absent harms the ability to nurture and further develop meaningful, protective relationships.
–Being physically present yet emotionally absent harms the ability to nurture and further develop meaningful, protective relationships.
Too Painful to Process
If this is something you struggle with, processing these thoughts and emotions is difficult because you are inclined to inhibit them. However, identifying the underlying reasons for this numbing is critical. Speaking with a registered therapist, competent to understand the unique cultures of First Responders and Veterans, might be able to help you begin to better identify these. Therapists drawing from cognitive theory, such as mindfulness-based cognitive therapy (MBCT), can help with regulating these distressing thoughts and emotions so that you can begin processing them, rather than avoiding them.
–Identifying the underlying reasons for this numbing is critical
Awareness or Avoidance?
There is much to be interpreted and understood during crises. When the distance between life and death is measured in fractions of a second, you cannot become distracted or overwhelmed, otherwise difficult decisions cannot be made immediately. However, not every moment is a crisis. In our attempt to numb these emotions outside of insane places, we may also deaden the experiences of happiness and the ability to feel fully alive.
–We may also deaden the experiences of happiness and the ability to feel fully alive.
It makes sense that you cannot feel overwhelmed by sadness or fear when you need to focus on the emergency in front of you. However, avoiding these thoughts and emotions will not make them go away, nor protect you from experiencing them again. This protective reaction can actually become problematic and may only cause you more harm.
If you are a First Responder or Veteran and want to learn more about emotional numbing, book a Free 15-min Discovery Call with Richard Piekarczyk-Vacca.
